• 17:41 @lexalicious Not only am I not done Christmas shopping, I still have wrapping to do...sigh #
• 21:39 @shilohwalker Again, it wasn't me. Pretty purse why do you forsake me? #
• 08:25 My husband's paycheck is being held hostage. Either mail the thing or direct deposit it...we'd actually like to eat. #

http://notalwaysright.com/the-custom-fur-is-always-right/3530

http://notalwaysright.com/?p=3530

(Bakery | Sydney, Australia)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a lemon and lime pie please.”

Me: “I’m sorry miss, we don’t sell those. We never have.”

Customer: “But I was so sure. Let me just check.” *pulls out phone and dials* “Hi, darling…yes, I know, but she says they don’t sell them anymore. Okay, I’ll put you on…”

Customer: “He’d like to talk to you.” *hands me the phone*

Me: “Hi, sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t sell lemon and lime pies.”

Phone: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Customer, to me: “You see?!”

http://notalwaysright.com/lost-dumbfound/3533

http://notalwaysright.com/?p=3533

(Retail | Kansas, USA)

(A customer calls our store claiming she’s lost her phone. The routine is to replace the phone if insured, to give them a loaner phone for a few weeks, or to sell them another phone. She has turned down all of those options.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else we can do for you besides giving you a loaner phone or selling you another one.”

Customer: “No, I have a replacement.”

Me: “Maybe I’m misunderstanding. Why are you calling us?”

Customer: “I lost my phone.”

Me: “…and you already have a replacement for it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Were you calling to ask if you left it here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I really don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.”

Customer: “Where’s my phone?”

Me: “We have no way of tracking where your phone is at any given time. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “But I lost my phone. Where is it?”

Me: “I’m truly sorry, but unless you’re wanting another phone to replace your old one, I really can’t help you.”

Customer: “So can you transfer me to your lost and found, then?”

Me: “How about I give you our customer service number, and maybe they can help you out?”

Customer: “Okay…”

(Afterwards, as I was making a memo in the account, I noticed that she’d already called customer service twice. Both times, the call rep had told her we had no way to track her phone down by satellite, network towers, or police scanners.)

http://notalwaysright.com/a-hazy-legal-maze/3517

http://notalwaysright.com/?p=3517

(Grocery Store | New York, USA)

Customer: “What cigarettes would you recommend?”

Me: “I’m actually only 16, I don’t smoke.”

Customer: “Oh well then which cigars are your favorite?”

Me: “I’m only 16, I don’t smoke.”

Customer: “Okay then. Do you sell marijuana?”

Me: “That’s actually illegal.”

Customer: “What? When did that happen?”

http://notalwaysright.com/retail-therapy/3527

http://notalwaysright.com/?p=3527

(Hospital | Newcastle, NSW, Australia)

(I work at a small shop in a hospital.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Is this the only shop here?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “And that’s the only cafe?” *points towards the cafe*

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Why aren’t there more?”

Me: “Well, we only really need one shop and one cafe for this hospital.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! I don’t need beds, I need more
shops! I’m going to complain!”